Levi x Eren - Gay Bar
by KoldPredator88
Summary: In a normal day, two mysterious friends decided to ask to Levi and Eren to visit a not-so-normal bar. Eren and Levi are a bit tensed, due to the two friends' strange behavior. The night of fun, laughs, and blackmailing begins now, in a gay bar!


**Author note: Hello and welcome to our story!**

 **This fiction has been written with a friend of mine, called Meadow, very talented person in writing stories. We're both huge AoT fans and we've decided to write something in collaboration, using a "Dialong exchange" technique, which it worked very well.**

 **This story was made just for fun, and it is not meant to be taken seriously, so if you don't like it, we honestly don't care about what you have to say. Instead, what you could do is just reading it for the giggles, that's the reason why we have decided to write this, and we have had tons of fun on writing this story, only for entertainment purposes.**

 **Also, the characters Meadow and Marco are our original characters, that means that the Marco you'll see in the fic is not Marco Bodt. The dialogues starting with "Me:", means that Meadow is talking.**

 **This story is inappropriate for some kind of audience, so please don't read unless you're 16 or 17+**

 **Happy reading! (Yes, we were probably very high while writing this lol)**

Marco: Captain! I was thinking... why don't we go visit a gay bar?  
Levi: a hu-

Eren: YES.

 **Me holding a camera** Me: k.

 **Opens up gay porn hub to live stream.**

Me: I'm ready to go.

Marco: Great! Let's head over it! **Drags Meadow.**

 **Grans Eren's arm and drags him while he drags Levi.**

Me: it's a train.

Marco: I'm the head of it, Levi is behind Eren, because... **Chills.**

Me: and I'm here so I can get a close up.

Eren: Meadow, why do you have gay porn hub opened?

 **Shoves the small tablet in my shirt** Me: Nooo.

Marco: Don't worry, Eren! We're heading there just for fun... who drives here?

Me: I'll drive ;D

 **Marco gasps** But... you don't have the license it's illegal! ;-;

Me: But killing giant Titans is?

Marco: Though... they eat us.

Me: but a car is just a big piece of metal.

Me: Anyways get in, bitches we going for a ride and Marco gets shotgun.

Marco: Just in case Military Police is over us?

Me: Just get in the damn car Levi and Eren are in du back.

 **Turns around and grins evily.**

Marco: Fine! Sits in the car.

Me: Buckle the fuck up.

Eren: O-okay.

Levi: Tch.

Marco: Let's do this, earn some cash **reloads shotgun.**

Me: how did you find my shotgun? Oh wait I left it under the seat.

Eren: why is there a shotgun under the seat.

Levi: What's a shotgun?

Me: Ah but you see there is also a rocket launcher in the back.

Eren: You don't know what shotgun is?

Levi: We use swords, shotguns sounds like fag.

Me: It's a gun and can blow someone's head off.

Eren: Yeah.

Me: Doesn't the military police use it.

Levi: Can I try it on that pedestrian?

Me: If you want to go to jail then sure.

Levi: Jail ain't my place, we run off... Meadow, turn the shitty car on, Eren, get da rockets

Me: Suit yourself starts car hey Marco you know those people who ship Erwin and armin

Marco: Of course I do, what's up?

Me: And some people be like "but the age gap" and the others be like there is no number to love yeah, and jail is also just a room.

Me: then again in this world there are giant Titans eating us to who cares.

Eren: What.

Marco: RIGHT! Captain, kill dat guy!

 **Levi shots someone** Levi: God damn that kick back.

Me: UGHHH don't shoot out the car.

Eren: Ewww, his head blew off!

Me: To the gay bar! I mean the bar!

 **Me whispers to Marco** : The gay bar obviously.

 **Marco whispers to Meadow** : They won't understand anything giggles.

Me: Sooo…

Marco: Meadow, how did you get the rockets by the way?

Me: I know some people.

Marco: Right... Captain, what's that hard thing looking in your pants? You saved a brick in there?

 **Levi awkwardly puts a cloth over his pants.**

Levi: No, I'm just sitting weirdly. Turn around and sit normally.

 **Eren awkwardly laughs.**

 **Me whispers to Marco** : Wait till Hanji hears Hehehehe.

 **Marco whispers to Meadow** : Is Captain sexually attracted by Eren?

 **Me whispers back** : Probably. Should I give Levi the video of Eren low key masturbating to Levi? I had one of my cameras in his room recording and yeah...

Me whispers: I am one lucky son of a bitch.

Marco: Not yet, but better we move or cops will get over us!

Me: Ah shit true **quickly turns a corner causing Levi to fall on top of Eren.**

Me: Dumbass I told you two to buckle.

Levi: Who did you call dumbass? **creepy look.**

 **Grins** Me: oh no one... **Pulls the camera out and takes a picture** Blacckkkmaaillll.

Marco: OH YES **High fives Meadow.**

Eren: why did you take a picture?

Marco: Well... Eren wasn't masturbating on Levi's poster, totally not-ops!

 **Me screams.**

Eren: what did you say?

Me: HE SAID NOTHING.

Me: Also little Eren I have something to blackmail you too.

Marco whispers: He's so fucking red! BLACKMAIL HIM.

Me: Huhuhu do you want to watch it and all of its glory?

Marco: Ohhh, I guess!

Me: Not you Marco, Eren.

Me: I don't think you wanna watch that.

Me: and that's coming from me.

Marco: What... of course I didn't want to...

Me: anyways, Eren yes or no.

Eren: I guess, ;-;

Me: **Intensely grins** Marco~ you drive for a bit. Here Eren **hands over a iPod with earbuds connected** I suggest putting these in when you watch **grins again** I don't think you want a certain someone to hear this.

Me: click play when you're ready.

Me: Ah yes, don't try to delete it, I have more copies anyways.

Marco: Oh driving is easy! **does a-mega drift.**

Me: Dammit Marco.

Me: Anyways Eren, click play~

Marco: Wow, this is nice **Pushes the accelerator.**

Me: Ugh let me drive now.

Eren: I'm gonna press play!

 **Pushes the button, and hears himself moaning.**

Levi: Just do it already god it's a damn video stupid brat.

Eren: ... **Eren turns white.**

Levi: You okay, brat? Looks like you saw a ghost.

Me: Hehehehehhehehehe.

Me: Erreennn~ how's the video.

Eren in the video Eren: OH YEAH, LEVI HEICHOU, MY ASS IS Perfect! Grrr, let's get myself dry!

Marco: Meadow, you're the daughter of the devil **winks.**

Me: Why, thank you.

 **Eren slowly starting to blush and freak out.**

Eren: H-H-how did you get this?

Levi: Get what?

Eren in the video: Oh GOD, I'M COMING! SPREADING ON THE POSTER!

 **Spins his cock.**

Levi: let me watch it.. **Going to grab it from Eren.**

Eren: N-NO! You can't have it!

Eren: Oh, gosh noooo! **Throws the iPod out of the window.**

Me: Ugh! That costed a bit! Oh well, I have back ups~

 **Eren intensely blushing while dying on the inside.**

Me: Told you I can blackmail you as well.

Me: Maybe I should show it to hanji, or armin, or... Mikasa!

Levi: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?

Eren: What the fuck was what **awkwardly laughs.**

Levi: I want to know what's in the video!

Eren: Y-You can't!

Me: I can show you it~

Eren: NO.

Levi: Yeah, thank you.

Eren: PLEASE GOD NO.

Marco whispers: Do I give him my phone? I noticed you loaded that up on my phone too.

Me whispers: Nah, he's gonna clean my room for a while starting today. Blackmail is a God.

Marco: Uhm... well you see... mine is messy as well, so...

Me: I won't show it if you clean me and Marcos room for a while~ at least until I decide to delete it.

Eren: WHAT? THAT'S BASTARD! How about I kill you right now?

Me: If you try I will pull out my phone on full speaker and play it.

Eren: But... wait... didn't you only bring an iPod?

Me: I told you, I made copies~

Me: Marco also has it on his.

Levi: Why the FUCK are you getting so worked up over a stupid video?

Levi: Stupid young kids... **glances at the Window.**

Me: You'll understand if you see the video~

Me: maybe I'll show it to you since Eren never agreed on cleaning our rooms for us.

Eren: WAIT... I'LL DO IT... FOR NOW.

Me: Good boy ;D

Levi: Tch, I still want to see it.

Levi: Gosh, l get the stupid people **gets out of the car, and starts heading in the bar.**

Me: **Pulls out the camera and a bottle of pills.**

Me: Go on Eren, go after your "daddy".

Marco: Poor Eren, I am sorry a little bit... nah!

 **Eren Gets out of the car.**

 **Eren intensely blushing** Eren: I hate you guys **Starts walking to the bar.**

Marco: Let's get along! **Tugs Meadow to the bar.**

 **Gets the camera ready** Me whispers: I brought du pills with that Hanji made and Ima slip it in Eren's drink. Hanji said it will give him cat ears and a tail. ;D

Marco: WAIIIIT **stops tugging Meadow** Can it really do that?

Me: Yeaahh, I told Hanji about the vid and she agreed instantly so hopefully.

Marco: Smartie! **pats her shoulder.**

Me: Ikr.

Me: **Grins** Also the tail and ears are meant to be sensitive to the touch.

Marco: Can't wait to seen that in action! **Opens the door to Meadow.**

Me: Thanks hoe, let's go find them. You distract them while I slipty it in.

 **They get inside.**

Marco: Hey Eren!

Eren: Huh?

Me: Hehehehehe.

Eren: Oh you... this doesn't look like a normal bar, you know.

Levi: Yeah...

Me: Are you sure? I think it does.

Marco: I only find the bar guy weird.

Miche: I smell homos.

Me: Where the fuck did you come from?

Miche: Ya went a drink?

Miche: I workz hir.

Me: Give me straight up vodka.

Marco: I'll take gin.

Miche: What yer want, homos? Levi, Eren?

Eren: I-I'm not a homo! **Pouts.**

Miche: Me nose doesn't lie, you feel me?

Miche: Guna writ yer orders **Writes everything on a list.**

Me: Mmm, yeah his nose doesn't lie though.

Marco: I know it doesn't.

 **They wink.**

Levi: Will you guys shut up.

Miche: Be right back, fellas, don't ye get in de trouble.

Me whispers to Marco: Once he brings the drinks back, distract them plz.

Marco: I got your feel, leave it to me!

Levi: Why are there topless guys here?

Me: Probably drunk bastards.

Levi: I've never seen so many.

Me: Probably drunk bastards...?

Eren: This is weird... oh look over there... is that... two kissing girls? This bar ain't normal.

Me: Drunk bastards...?

Miche: Me back with your poison.

 **Hands the glasses to them.**

Miche: Yer homos alright, or I bring more poison?

Me: We're good.

Me: You can shoo now.

Miche: Mmm... you smell like you want yaoi.

Me: Pf, no.

Miche: Bye, I guta work to du.

Me: Mkay **whispers** Weirdo.

Marco: Well, he isn't normal for sure... **Calls Eren.**

Eren: Yes?

Marco: Oi, gotta show ya a meme on my phone, come here.

Eren: O-Okay!

Levi: Let me see **Walks over.**

 **Gives you a thumbs up and slips it in.**

Marco: How do you call a Titan who can't swim?

Eren: I-I don't know…?

Eren: I've never really seen a Titan swim anyways...

Marco: TITANIC! **Laughs a lot.**

Levi: What the fuck is a titanic?

Marco: You guys are so old... it's a ship and... nevermind...

Me: Shh Marco, shh.

Me: How about you guys drink your drinks?

Marco: Yea, the drinks! **sits with them.**

Me: Yeah **takes a sip** That is some good shit.

Me: Hey Eren, I bet I can drink mine faster than you can.

Eren: Bet about that?

Miche: I am the king of the bets.

Me: Yeah **Winks at Marco.**

Marco: I bet on Meadow!

Me: Are you ready~?

Eren: So ready. **starts chugging.**

 **Doesn't chug at all** Me: **Smirks** Wow, don't drink so fast, we don't want anything... bad to happen.

Eren: Wait... I feel weird... you got me high, didn't you... are you trying to kill me? **Sits due to a headache**

Me: Oh no Eren, you sure you can handle that drink? Maybe we should go back.

Eren: I feel so... horrible.

 **Fists bump marco under the table.**

Me: Let's go then. Levi? Marco?

Levi: Fine.

Marco: Cool this way.

Me: Hey Eren, how about you lean on Levi and let him help you. Hmm~?

 **Miche stops them** Miche Erm, no, you can't leave just now, party has already started! **Starts dancing.**

Me whispers: God dammit

Me: Mkay! :,D

Levi: Eren… are you sleeping on the chair? Wake up, come on!

 **Me whispers to Marco:** Shiit, It's taking effect now.

Marco: I see, when he'll wake up, he'll probably turn into a cat.

 **Screams and covers Marco's mouth**

Me: Hahaha, Marco you must be drunk.

Me whispers: SHHH IT'S A SURPRISE.

Marco: … Dammit, yeah **turns back to talk to her** but we can't leave just yet, also because Eren is not with us.

Me: Wait, where is he then?

Marco: He is on th- **stares at the chair** OK, where the fuck is he!?

Levi: ARE YOU TELLING ME WE LOST EREN IN THIS HUGE BAR?

Marco: I think we just los- **someone bumps their head into Marco's back**

Ymir: Sup, bitches?

Me: Hey hoe.

Ymir: Oh, dear Meadow… what are you doing in a gay bar? **Grins**

Levi: Did you say Gay ba-

Me: NO! SHE DIDN'T!

Me whispers to Ymir: Ymir shhh, I brought him and Eren here for reasons…

Levi: If you three over there are done whispering, can someone tell me where did Eren disappear?

Marco: Erm… I wasn't noticing of that, though we'll go find him, just let me do something… **walks behind Ymir to find Christa** Hello, dearie **Sweet look to her** what are you up to tonight? **Winks**.

Ymir: GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY CHRISTA! **Hugs Christa**

Marco: Aw, come on, I was just friendly talking to her, don't be so rough, harsh, rude and… why did you two come here anyway? **Asks confused**.

 **Ymir looks away awkwardly**

Me: Ima go.. Try to find my experim- I mean Eren. **Walks away to the strippers.**

Marco: Wait, I'm coming along! **Runs over her**.

Levi: So Ymir…. Hi? Have you seen the brat by any chance?

Ymir: No, I only came in just now **whistles** and why did you come here? This is not a… good place, I wanted to get **leans to whisper** I wanted to get Christa drunk.

Levi: Oh really? Me and Eren were dragged here by the two retards who just ran away.

Ymir: Ah! Those two are weird, yeah… sorry, I'm gonna go order something to the stand, let's go, babe **drags Christa.**

Miche: Order up, lesbos.

Levi: Ugh, where is th at bra-

Me: LEEVVIII YOU NEED TO SEE THIS! **Says out of breath.**

Levi: Oh God… **shouts** I'm too lazy, can't you just tell me?

Me: I found Eren! Marco is with, well… watching him… Follow me **Grabs Levi's arm.**

Levi: I hate my life… **Flash to Marco.**

Marco: Oh, my, god. How did Eren get up on stage to start stripping? Not bad moves to be honest.

 **People around start watching Eren stripping and dancing on the pole, throwing a few dollars at him.**

Marco: I wonder when did Hanji give Meadow those pills...hmm **Spills a dollar out of his wallet**

Eren: THANK YOU ALL OF YOU PEEEPLE! TIME FOR ANUTHER RUND!

Crowd: Eren! Take this! **Throws a bunny suit**.

Eren: ALRAIGHT! I'LL BE RIGHT BACK! **Walks off to change.**

 **Meadow runs towards Marco, dragging Levi's arm**.

Me: WHERE IS HE?

Marco: Oohh, he went to get changed into a bunny suit.

Levi: See? Stop wasting my time… I'd like to drown my pain in alcohol.

Me: WAAIITT! Don't go! He was right her-

 **Eren walks out on the stage.**

Everyone: COME ON, START MOVING THAT ASS!

Eren: ALRAIGHT! LET'S GET STARTED!

Levi: Oh. My. God.

Me: Those cat ears are just amazing, he should grow a tail anytime now… MICHE! PLUG DA MUSIC!

 **Miche starts the music for Eren.**

Eren: HERE I GOOOO! **Starts to dance on the pole very sexually.**

Miche: Da muzic is her, peps! **Wears black glasses, and mixes music up like a true DJ**

Levi: WHY IN THE FUCK IS THE BRAT UP THERE? IN A BUNNY SUIT? BUT WITH CAT EARS?!

Me: Ha..Ha...ha..?

 **Ymir and Christa walk by dancing and raising their hands.**

Ymir: WOW, THIS MUSIC IS FUCKING EPIC, AND…

WHAT THE FUCK **looks at Eren and starts laughing.**

 **Drunk Christa** Christa: WHOOOOOOOO! GO EREN!

Levi: This is interesting… **Stares at Eren's ass.**

Marco: Hell yeah, it is.

Me: He can really dance. **Starts recording for blackmail later.**

 **Miche leaves a calm music playing in background, and every pair dances along.**

Miche: So, is Eren earning money to me?

Eren: I WANT ALL THE MONKEYS!

Marco: Oh well… monkeys sounds right, though I want something decent to drink… **Miche covers his mouth**.

Miche: Shh, no more talk **Gives to Marco and Levi a glass full of green liquid.**

Me: Dude, don't drink that shit. Also, we should like, get going.. **Looks at Eren and sees him being an idiot.**

Miche: Enjoy that, Levi Heichou… but now we're gonna close in one hour or so… I'm gonna play one last song, and we'll all dance along, are you up everyone?

Everyone: YEAAHH!

 **After some minutes, they all get very drunk, including Eren, which was already high, Miche starts playing the music.**

Marco: HERE WEE GUOOO!

Me: Are you drunk already? Damn.

Marco: **hick** I know you're drunk too, don't act lieeeeek u dun't.

Me: Russians don't get drunk.

Marco: Watevr, **hick.**

Me thinking: God dammit how am I gonna get these retards back home?

Miche: IT'S TIME **Starts playing a very known song, and everyone gets aligned to dance.**

 **Levi grabs Eren and starts to dance with him. So does Marco with Meadow, also Ymir and Christa.**

 _ **You!**_

 _ **I wanna take you to a gay bar,**_

 _ **I wanna take you to a gay bar,**_

 **Levi gets behind Eren, and they both start air thrusting, so do Meadow with Marco, and Ymir with Christa, while Meadow takes pictures of Eren with Levi.**

 _ **I wanna take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.**_

 _ **Let's start a war, start a nuclear war,**_

 _ **At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.**_

 _ **Wow! (Shout out loud)**_

 _ **At the gay bar.**_

 _ **Now tell me do ya, a do ya have any money?**_

 _ **I wanna spend all your money,**_

 _ **At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.**_

 _ **WOW (SHOUT OUT LOUD)**_

 _ **You're a superstar, at the gay bar.**_

 _ **You're a superstar, at the gay bar.**_

 _ **Yeah! you're a superstar, at the gay bar.**_

 _ **You're a superstar, at the gay bar.**_

 **One hour later…**

 **Everyone is leaving, except Levi, Eren, Marco and Meadow. Miche walks over to them to ask for a reason.**

Miche: Guys, it closin' time. Gotta leave.

Levi: Why dun't **hick** you go… feck uff? **Dangles.**

 **Miche Sighs.**

Miche: I'ma have to drag you all out I suppose.

Me: W-Wait I got this!

 **Grabs Marco's arm and Levi's arm.**

Marco: Woah… do I have to drag Eren? Can't we leave him here? **Yawns.**

Me: Yes, now grab his arm too or just, throw him over your shoulder.

Marco: Fine… Captain's drunk anyway **Glances at Eren for a second, then he loads him over his shoulder.**

Me: AIGHT! LEH GO! **Starts to pull everyone out the doors.**

Marco: Ugh, be quiet, he was about to fall… not a great loss anyway **Chuckles.**

Levi: MOTHER FUCKIN' PIECE OF GARBAGE! **Throws a bottle.**

Marco: Woah! **Dodges** Are you crazy? I've could get hurt… let's just get out of here, Meadow. Doors please.

 **Meadow whips open the doors.**

Me: Let's go **Puts shades on.**

 **Marco's eyes hurt as they make contact with the sunlight.**

Marco: God, I thought that I would have died in there… **Covers his eyes.**

Me: Wait… It's already morning?

Marco: How the heck… didn't Miche warn us? Maybe he wanted to see Eren… why am I even questioning, let's go… Captain, are you still with us? **Glances at Levi.**

Levi: THE SUN! IT BURNS!

Me: He's fine.

Levi: WHY DOES EREN HAVE TWO ASSES?

Marco: Oh what? Meadow, before he gets crazy, open the car, I'm gonna push this cat into it.

Me: Kay. **Opens the door in the back.** Shove him in.

 **With his painful arms, Marco pushed Eren in the back, and closed it. Then he sighs heavily.**

Marco: Fuck… that was tough, let's get in, Captain!

Levi: FUCKIN' WHAT IS THIS BIG PIECE OF SHIT I AM LOOKING AT? **Stares at the car.**

Marco: He needs help, doesn't he? **Talking to Meadow while looking at a dangling Captain.**

 **Levi climbs otop of the car**

Levi: I AM THE KING! BOW DOWN TO ME, YOU FUCKERS!

Marco: Yes, he does. **Walks up to Levi, in order to help him get in the car.**

Levi: I AM GOING IN MY CASTLE NOW! **Jumps down from the car's roof and climbs in next to Eren.**

Marco: Well, time to get in too! **Sits in the car, so does Meadow.**

Me: Since I'm not drunk, I'll be driving. You watch the two retards in the back.

Levi: Blow me.

Marco: Well, you know, Captain. Why do you still live in a castle instead of a modern house?

Levi: What's a castle?

Marco: Fine, you were drunk when you said it… let's just go, shall we?

Me: Marco, don't ever question drunks. It gets you nowhere. **Starts up the car.**

Marco: Cool this way. **Whispers** Did you get the blackmailing materials?

Me whispers: Of fucking course I did. **Hands Marco the phone with all the photos from last night.**

Marco: Is the phone password 6969 still?

Me: Yeah, why wouldn't it be?

Marco: Uhm, better I don't start anything up now… **Taps the gallery app, and starts sliding. pictures of Eren dancing, drinking and even a video of him spanking himself.**

Me: That one is my favorite. **The video of Eren spanking himself while calling Levi's name is playing.**

Marco: Ahah! Do we bring him to your house first? So when he wakes up, we blackmail and boom!

Me: Or to make it funnier, we bring him to Levi's house, set them in the same bed, and we crash in the living room.

Levi: My life sucks, I can only get my comrades killed, but glad that Petra died.

Me: He is blabbering again. **Sighs**.

Marco: Let him be… he's right after all. **Pats her shoulder.** BUT! I do accept your idea, as I really want to have some fun with these two drunk asses.

Me: Don't rape their drunk asses…

Marco: Oh God, no. I didn't mean that. And I do have other tastes. **laughs.**

Me: Haha… yeah…. ANYWAYS! How do you plan to drag Levi in? Isn't he like heavy af?

Levi: I need some sleep, I need a bed right now, I don't care… **Crazy expression.**

Me: This will be easier than I thought.

Marco: Yup… how much till home?

Me: Not very lon-

Levi: BRAT! EREN! HEY! I ALWAYS WANTED TO TELL YOU, THAT YOU ARE SHIT, BUT YOU'RE MY SHIT. I WOULDN'T MIND IF WE SHIT TOGETHER, PROBABLY.

Marco: Captain, please relax, or you'll stress out, Eren is still sleeping.

 **Eren grumbling.**

Me: More like he fainted.

Marco: Ugh, I know, but I don't think that Captain is capable to understand right now, we're taking you home **Whispers to Meadow** and Eren with him. **Chuckles.**

Me: Hahaha, yes. Anyways, I wouldn't even try talking to him. Just ignore him. This can make for a great video too.

Marco: Okay… **Lies on the seat** Let's just wait till we're home…

 **Driving in silence.**

Me: I'ma just.. Turn on the radio… **Turns it on.**

Me: Oh hey, "It's okay to be gay" is playing.

Marco: Ah! Funny… I feel I could fall asleep **laughs.**

Me: Go for it, I'll wake you later.

Marco: Finally… that gay bar took away all of my life essence, with my soul in it, Miche is literally the child of the devil **slowly falls asleep.**

 **An hour later…**

Wake up you idiot.

Oi, wake up!

 **Shaking.**

Marco: No mom, school is gay…

Me: BITCH, I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER! NOW WAKE THE FUCK UP! WE ARE HERE!

Marco: Ughh… are we? **Rubs his eyes and yawns.**

Me: No shit sherlock, now help me drag them in. I can't lift them, especially Levi.

Marco: Is Captain sleeping too?

Me: Yeah, he passed out on top of Eren like 20 minutes ago.

Marco: Oh, great, I bet you took tons of pictures, I know how you are **sticks tongue out.**

Me: You know me too well. **Gets out of car.**

Marco: Let's do it! **Gets out as well, opens the backdoor, and gets Levi out, after lifting him.**

Me: Seems like you're struggling.

Marco: Hell yeah… **Grabs his home keys from Levi's pocket** Ew, I shouldn't have done that. Reasons…

Me: Eh? What do you mean.

Marco: Well, you know what happens to guys in the morning…

Me: I have no idea?

Marco: Uhm… the morning boner **laughs.**

Me: Oohhhh. Anyways, drag his heavy ass inside then get Eren.

Marco: Why don't you lift Eren?

Me: Royalty don't do the dirty work.

Marco mumbles: Hoe… **Lies Levi on the ground, in order to open the door of his house. Once he opens it, he lifts again Levi's body, and his face gets red due to the fatigue.**

Levi mumbling: Ugghh, Eren, it's not gonna suck itself. Turn the vacuum cleaner on and start.

Marco: It's okay, Captain. Keep sleeping.

Me: This is great mumbling shit.

Me: Hurry up and drag his ass inside already.

 **Marco enters in Levi's house, goes upstairs, lies Levi down again, and** **opens the bedroom's door. He goes in to uncover the bed. He grabs the Captain again, and puts him in his bed.**

Marco: Fuck… I need water.

Me shouting: HURRY UP AND GET EREN TOO!

Marco coughing and panting: Ugh… coming down! **Goes downstairs, heads outside the house, and pulls out Eren off of the car, before to carry him upstairs with Levi. Meadow follows him.**

Me: Wow, did carrying Levi up wear you out _that_ much?

Marco panting: Yes… he's so damn heavy, but small, I don't know how his anatomy works.

Me: Since he is basically a midget, you'd think he would be lighter than Eren.

Marco: In any case… take these pics, I'll go down to steal water from Captain… my throat is burning. **Goes downstairs.**

Me: Aight! **Pulls out phone** Time to see what I have in here.

Marco: Hmm, let's see **Opens the fridge** Oh, there's water, finally. **Grabs the bottle and two cups, and he goes upstairs again.** Hey, need some water?

Me: Yeah sure. Anyways, I got some good pictures and videos of them air thrusting each other and Eren dancing on the pole. Who knew he can.

 **Marco pours water in her cup.** Yeah, that's honestly incredible. Me and you were also air thrusting, also Ymir and Christa. **Laughs.**

Me: Pf, I was taking pictures of them.

Marco: Yeah, finally Eren will clean my room, since I'm too lazy to do it. **Takes a sip of water.**

Me: Unlike you, I do clean my room but it'll save me some time anyways.

Marco: Tch… we just wait for them to wake up or we go home to wait our maid? **Winks.**

Me: Nah, let's wait. We can probably record their reactions or we can invite like Hanji over because she'll go crazy over the pictures and videos.

Marco: Oh well, let's wait, if you want to invite Hanji, feel free to do it, I'll go sleep on the couch downstairs, I'm so tired. **Yawns.**

Me: Well I'll be up here if you need me. I'ma go set up the camera and wait.

 **Flash to Eren and Levi, who are waking up, while Meadow was recording them.**

Levi: Uggghhh.

Eren: Shh, don't move, it's okay… **Kisses his forehead.**

Levi: WHAT THE FUCK?! **Kicks Eren off the bed.**

Eren: WHAT THE F-Oh… WHAT WAS I DOING IN THERE? WEREN'T WE IN A BAR? AND WHERE ARE THOSE TWO?

Levi: WE WERE IN A GAY BAR, EREN. A GAY BAR! ANYWAYS, WHY ARE YOU STILL WEARING THAT AND THE EARS AND TAIL?

Eren: A GAY BAR? I THOUGHT THEY WERE JOKING WHEN I SAID THAT…

Levi: Yeah same but, do you know what you're wearing..?

Eren: Uhm, my jacket?

Levi: …. Look again.

Eren: **Takes a look at his outfit.** WHAT IN THE FUCKING WORLD IS THIS? **Looks around the room.** You! DID YOU DO THIS!?

 **Levi rubs the bridge of his nose and sighs.**

Levi: No… you put it on yourself.

Eren: NO, SHE PUT IT ON ME! That girl who is staring us!

 **Meadow and Marco walk in.**

Me: My my, calm down with the yelling. I assume you realize what you're wearing, right~?

Eren: A stupid bunny suit, very funny. Now give me my jacket back!

Me: Do you want to see what happened last night~? Fufufu.

Eren: Can I just have my jacket and pants back? Give me.

Marco: The thing is… we don't know where it is… I think you left it in the gay bar.

Me: He did leave it. Remember, he took it off and put that on.

Eren: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I KNOW YOU HAVE IT!

Marco: Ugh, I seriously do not, but maybe you should listen at what my friend has to say… we are your biggest fans, so we thought to record you. **Winks.**

Me: Yeah totally, thanks for all the money from last night. **Pulls out a wad of cash.** Anyways, here is what happened. **Pulls out a phone.**

Marco: Eren, watch this, please. Levi, have fun with us, and watch Eren again.

Me: **Smirks** Eren, you are gonna love this. **Clicks play on the phone and hands it to Eren.**

Eren: What is this?

 **Eren in the video dancing, while wearing a bunny suit. And people throwing money at him.**

 **Eren blushes.**

Eren: THIS IS NOT ME!

Me: Try to zoom, idiot.

Eren: STOP LYING, I WOULD NEVER DO THIS!

Levi: But you did, and I saw it. So did Ymir and Christa.

Marco: Also Miche-San saw that, you can ask them… let's say… you drunk too much. **Winks at Meadow.**

Me: Hehe, yeah. How about you I don't know, take some of Levi's clothes for now? Unless you want to stay in that.

Levi: Who said I want to give him my clothes? **Winks too.**

Me: Oh, ho ho! So you want to keep him like this? **Smirks at Levi.**

Eren: WHAT!? YOU WANT TO AGREE WITH THESE TWO FANS?

Levi: Yes, but… you'll be cleaning my house first. And then I'll give you my clothes.

Eren: UGGGHHH!

Me: Hahahah!

Marco: Well… I'm heading home, so… Eren, come by my house at 6:00 PM, it was a pleasure to spend a day with you two! I want autograph now! **Hands a pen and a jacket to Levi.**

Eren: W-What?

Me: Did you forget? You're cleaning for us! ;D

Marco: I'll see you tomorrow, Meadow!

Levi: Here's your jacket with the autograph.

Marco: OMG THANKS, CAPTAIN! Bye Eren! **Walks out of Levi's house.**

Me: Have fun Eren~ **Walks out too.**

Eren: That's why we shouldn't accept meetings with our fans… I hate both of you…

 **Epilogue: And right after the two mysterious friends of Eren and Levi left, Eren started to clean his Captain's house. After finishing that, Eren visited Meadow as well, cleaning her house, even though it didn't take too long. Then he went to clean Marco's house.**

 **The final? Don't trust Hanji's pills… and Meadow.**


End file.
